A Rant-a-thon Preview

Coming soon to this Blog...
The Rant a thon!

A grouchy festival of political frustration.
What has been bugging you for the last 4-8 years? OK, tell us in 3 minutes or less.

We'll be hosting a rant-a-thon on Friday July 28th, so to boost the anticipation, here are the Rules for the Rant a thon (sounds like a Saul Alinsky book- Rules for Ranters?)
Participants compete for prizes by giving a 3 minute rant on the state of the world, and why things are messed up.
Participants will be judged by an impartial panel based on the following criteria:
- Passion (Swearing? Yelling?)
- Content (current affairs preferred over the fight between Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, though lost points here could be made up in nonlinearity and creative blaming)
- Humor (take it seriously, but give it some zing- i.e. Chihuahuas versus Hummers)
- Ridiculous metaphors (i.e. Bush’s foreign policy is _____)
- Esoteric References (naming the specific guard you hate at Abu Ghraib is better than just mentioning Abu Ghraib)
- Relevance (Botswana’s export tariffs are upsetting, but remember to bring it back to the main point)
- Creative blaming (Dubya is indeed responsible for Hurricane Katrina, but little did you know that Jenna Bush is even more at fault)
- Nonlinearity (ex: how is the wine factory proposed on Gold Ridge Road related to Rupert Murdoch’s consolidation of the media)
- Satire/ Parody (ex: facial expressions and impressions of the usual evil suspects)
- Gestures (Scalia-type performance art, foam middle fingers welcome)
- Density (how much of the above can you pack into 3 minutes?)

Tips: Remember to alternate between bile, venom, and humor. Like a fine souffle, a quality rant needs just the right amount of ingredients to turn out right. The difference between bile and venom is subtle, but can be discerned during public comment at your local City Council meeting. It is also an art to be able to rant like Greg Palast without falling into regrettable Jenkel-ism. If you are going to have a written, prepared rant, it will be posted here in a special Rant-a-thon section on the RumsfeldInvaders blog. Stay tuned.

Ranting- coming to a blog near you. Yes, Rumsfeld Invaders, always innovating. We should patent the Blog Rant. We'll make millions. No one has ever ranted on a Blog before. Genius!