Rumsfeld's Last Day- 6 years too late. His next career move: Lurking in the shadows with Kissinger

Today is Rumsfeld's last day at the Pentagon. For Rumsfeld Invaders, it is the end of an era. Like when Jerry Rice retired from the 49ers. Except way, way better for the country and the world. Apologies to Jerry Rice, he does not deserve to be compared to Rumsfeld. The only person who really deserves that is Henry Kissinger.

Is Rumsfeld really going away? Or is he just changing jobs. Until he publicly repents and repudiates his positions of the last 6 years, and those of the military-industrial-empire complex of the last 50, he will still pose a threat to the possibility of world peace. Like Henry Kissinger, he will cling to beliefs which make sense only to him, while the rest of the world has weighed the evidence, drawn the obvious conclusions, and tried to move on (as I thought we had after Vietnam).

I read on another blog that the U.S. is spending around $200 billion a year to fight less than 5,000 jihadi-type terrorists and their worldwide network of supporters. This works out “to roughly $40 million per year, per terrorist." That doesn't even account for the money spent to employ people to take my toothpaste and my shaving cream away from me (which really pissed me off), and my hair gel when I'm trying to get on a plane. Is the country safer because my hair is sticking up? These people see every American citizen as a potential threat to empire, and want to anally probe grandmothers in public. They are sick people and need therapy, not jobs at the airport. I'll look for an accounting of how much money is wasted by Homleand Paranoia and get back to you. The money is spent only to ensure that more money gets spent. The purpose of spending this money is so that more money must follow down the rat hole. Hegelian economics: Thesis-Antithesis. War-Insurgency-counterIntersurgency-countercounterInsurgency. Homeland Security-Paranoia.

What we need is Hegelian economics for good: Sustainability-The Commons-Social justice- education- Water quality for all- economics as if people mattered- investing in human capital- peace dividends. This money would follow more money and the more money invested in these things, the more money would continue to be invested.

The Homeland is not secure when the military is halfway around the world, violating human rights, and inflicting civilian collateral damage on a daily basis in order to steal oil out from under the Middle East. It is another reprise for White Man's Burden and Manifest Destiny. Our missionaries are in fatigues and driving Hummers, but it's the Crusades of the Middle Ages all over again, and the flashy graphics of television and the Internet can't mask the Iraq War's basic nature.

Rumsfeld's next career move: Lurking in the Shadows with Henry Kissinger. He already has the veneer of Rasputin. So, Rumsfeld Invaders isn't going away. We've still got a mess to clean up.

Congratulations, Rumsfeld, on instigating Jihad versus McWorld. Your legacy will be proving Benjamin Barber right.

Post-Rumsfeld Nostalgia

Online documentary about Rumsfeld and how he invaded.

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/pentagon/

Still getting over the shock of Rumsfeld's tenure coming to a close.
Will the world suddenly be a peaceful place? Rainbows will come out, and we'll all start singing Kum-ba-ya?

(please let the euphoria continue a little while longer, I'm not ready for the years of crushing cynicism and pessimism to return yet)

Post-election Afterglow

Congratulations, fellow Rumsfeld Invaders!

After 6 years of struggle, against adversity, in the face of American flag stickers in the back windows of Hummers, when the media had been infiltrated by gay Republican operatives and worshipped the devil, when only violence and Constitution shredding were seen as patriotic and Murtha was still waiting to see how things would go, when the Senate Intelligence Committee was acting like an oxymoron...you stood your ground.

You supported Rumsfeld Invaders, because you knew that only by making fun of Rumsfeld by playing a version of Space Invaders on the Atari 2600 featuring Rumsfeld would America awaken to the stupidity of his policies and save our country from further disaster.

Well, it took 6 years.

But on November 8, 2006, Donald Rumsfeld resigned as Secretary of Defense.

It is a new day for America.

Let's not celebrate too soon. The war in Iraq is still quagmiring along. Death every day. The U.S. Treasury is being drained (if there's anything left), and the no-bid contracts are still being awarded to Halliburton. Cheney is still #2 (and smells like it too), and I wouldn't be suprised if he still talks to Rumsfeld every day on the phone. Prisoners are being rendited, and probably tortured, with no American provision for humane treatment, the Geneva Conventions, or habeas corpus. Mark Foley and his kind still garner close to 48% of the vote, even after resigning in disgrace and acknowledging their disgusting corruption. The two party system still chugs along squelching democracy wherever it tries to break through the concrete with real ideas and ecological perspectives.

But still, it was a nice election result. Pombo is gone. Santorum - out! unTalent from Missouri, sent home with no dessert. Close elections in Montana and Virginia went the right way, amazingly. California voted for a Secretary of State who will take action on the voting machines situation, finally. Katherine Harris and Ken Blackwell have rigged their last election, and are consigned to the post-political backwaters. It's been a long, dark time, but it is nice to have a tiny bit of hope again.

As one Rumsfeld Invader observer noted, it is back to 1998 again. Sure, it's better than 2005. But it's certainly no utopia. We were out on the streets in 1998, preparing for a showdown in 1999 in Seattle over the WTO's anti-environmental, anti-labor policies. Maybe the blue-green alliance will return. Maybe 2007 will be the next 1999, and we can shut down the 21st century threat to global democracy, the United States War Machine. It was until recently piloted by Donald H. Rumsfeld. Now it needs a new direction. More humanitarianism and less bombs. More healthy people, clean water, and Millennium Development Goals, and less threats, lies, and swagger.

We'll be sending notes and encouragement to House Speaker-elect Nancy Pelosi. A woman's place is in the House...and the Senate! Kick Rumsfeld Butt! Nancy, feel free to subpoena Rummy, and ask him the tough questions. He cut and ran before you could get him to testify, but it's not too late for a War Crimes Tribunal. Maybe we'll even let him have access to an attorney and due process of the law. Maybe.

Rumsfeld Invaders will be evaluating its mission over the next month or two. We will stay active and engaged. And we will be blogging and enraged. Let us know what you think.

Now, on to Level 2: Cheney.

Saddam Verdict Timed to Coincide with Midterm Elections

Was it coincidence that Saddam's verdict was given out two days before the U.S. midterm elections? After 6 years of "staying the course", with Karl Rove trying to milk every angle he can out of the disastrous Iraq war? The "court" was created and paid for by the U.S. taxpayer, and governed by Rumsfeld. The Iraqi government is still a puppet of the U.S. government. And the U.S. government is a puppet of Cheney and Rumsfeld. If not, then why did the verdict happen in such a convenient way for the Republicans? The entire Iraq adventure aims to vest Dubya with a "war president" image to cover for all his other inadequacies. Dubya is now stalling in a State of Denial to keep running up the debt to hamstring all domestic social programs for the next decade. If the Democrats, when they take the House, don't immediately call for an end to the war in Iraq, with the threat of hearings and impeachment proceedings against the President for lying to them about Weapons of Mass Destruction, then the Democrats are part of the Republican plan, and it doesn't matter who runs the House.

I'm still looking for evidence that the Saddam verdict was timed by Rove. Or evidence of any media speculation of this. Tony Snow said "preposterous," and that put the issue to rest? Oh, if only Nixon had said the magic word! And, I'm still looking for evidence that Cheney did the Anthrax mailings.

Plundermaxx Plots Demise of Securities Laws

Secret backroom deals. Are we talking about more Republican repressed homosexual stalking of 16 year old boys? Sadly, not this time.

Plundermaxx, a corporation whose purpose is to maxximize Plunder, is combining the worst aspects of the public and private sector, subverting democracy, and slyly undermining laws meant to protect Americans. Their Press Releases show what evil they are up to.

http://www.plundermaxx.com/secsucks.pdf

Yes on 87, no on 90

Rumsfeld Invaders endorsements for California for the November 7 election (abridged):

Yes Prop 87. Tax the oil companies to fund renewable energy technologies. Don't believe Chevron's anti-87 propoganda. Prop 87 is a good measure and will reduce greenhouse gases.

No on Prop 90. This is an attempt to roll back planning and environmental laws across the state. They use sneaky language like "eminent domain" to mask their intent to overturn smart growth planning and zoning.

Laughing at the losers

Here are some highlights from
http://www.thefrown.com/frowners/becomerepublican.swf:

"We can't be spending money on wussy, boring crap like health care. We've got wars to fight! Would you rather have a million stupid mammograms, or one kick-ass Tomahawk missile?
...
Animals belong in a zoo, in your closet, or on your plate. If you want to see Nature as a majestic Circle of Life, just order a meat lover's pizza.
...
Forests are much better off without trees, according to a new study by the best scientists in the Lumber Industry."

New game on Rumsfeld Invaders: JackAsstroids

Rumsfeld Invaders presents a new game: JackAsstroids, based on the Atari 2600's famous Asteroids game.

Your objective is to clean up Washington's culture of corruption starting with lobbyists, then moving on to the politicians and their lackeys (including Rumsfeld of course).


Level 1 is disgraced corrupt lobbyist Jack Abramoff. Level 2 is disgraced corrupt Texas Republican leader Tom Delay. Level 3 is Rumsfeld. You'll have to play the game to find out who's next.

http://www.rumsfeldinvaders.com/jackasstroids.php

Rumsfeld on Political Friendster

I thought this was pretty funny. He's got a lot of friends...if you count scandals and national embarrassments as friends. Which I do.

http://www.politicalfriendster.com/showPerson.php?id=56&name=Donald-Rumsfeld

Press Release: Pentagon Worst Polluter on Planet

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Department of Defense: ‘Worst Polluter on Planet’ Cites Green US House Candidate Byron De Lear

California Green Party congressional candidate Byron De Lear takes ‘Military Tour’ with the Physicians for Social Responsibility (PSR) in Southern California; Inspects military industry and its disastrous impact on human health, the environment.

• Corporate handled global system of war imminent threat to human survival• DoD produces more hazardous waste than the five largest US chemical corporations combined

• Los Angeles is home to sixteen military related toxic contaminated sites

• Cancer clusters among workers and residents have been found in surrounding communities linked to the contaminated sites

LOS ANGELES, CA. On June 10th, 2006, the Physicians for Social Responsibility sponsored the first ‘Military Tour’ of defense industry-laden Southern California. Facilities toured included a Rocketdyne site in Simi Valley, Boeing, Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, North American Aviation and the Navy’s primary west coast weapons depot located at Seal Beach. “For decades through the 1950’s until the late 1960’s unsuspecting residents have been subjected to deadly toxic poisons and radioactive heavy metals produced by open air testing of military hardware and reckless burning and disposal of reactor waste,” said Byron De Lear, running for the US House seat representing a district in Southern California (www.DeLearforCongress.org).

The Santa Susanna Field Lab operated by Rocketdyne and owned by Boeing Aircraft in affluent West Hills was the first stop on PSR’s Military Tour. “I was shocked to learn that right in my backyard is home to the world’s only uncontained partial nuclear meltdown”, said De Lear. “It’s a ‘Three Mile Island’ right here in LA – and it’s still radioactive,” he declared. Nuclear expert and specialist, Dan Hirsh tells the story, “They had four reactors that we know of that had serious accidents.” To save money, Rocketdyne, like most other defense contractors, conducted monthly burns in open pits of radioactive and chemical waste affecting not only the four-square mile Santa Susanna site but also throughout the Southland. Hirsh continues, “Years later, under EPA guidance, measurements were taken at a nearby children’s summer camp and high levels of Strontium 90, Plutonium 238, Tritium, Trichloroethelene (TCE) and various heavy metals were found at the children’s camp obviously having migrated off the Rocketdyne property.” Residents of the field lab's surrounding communities were never notified of the activities taking place at the open field lab, nor were they ever made aware of the nuclear materials that they were exposed to during spills, accidents or releases. Boeing has denied any deleterious health effects such as increased cancer rates by workers and residents and yet has settled out-of-court with over 100 neighbors of the testing facility. Terms of the settlements were not released.

“The Bush administration has sought to minimize the perception of the human costs of its illegal war in Iraq, and now equally directs the Department of Energy to deflect any criticism of lame cleanup attempts of these contaminated sites,” proclaimed US House candidate Byron De Lear. “This shows a complete disregard for the better interests of Americans and speaks of dereliction of duty – the DoD and it coterie of defense contractors must be put in check.” When queried, a high level EPA official who wishes to remain anonymous stated that the ultimate solution will be the formation of an independent agency to oversee the environmental impact of the Pentagon -- not to continue to have the Pentagon regulate itself.

FOR MORE INFO: http://www.psrla.org/militarytour.htm and http://www.greencommons.org/node/333

The Horned Chicken Man Rant

Photo caption: The Horned Chicken Man rants and struggles with the bailiff at the Rant-a-thon

The following rant was delivered, in part, at the 1st ever Rant-a-thon on July 28th, 2006 by Shepherd Bliss, sb3@pon.net, accompanied by musician Russell Sutter. Allies—Jack, John, Jeff, Leslie, Maggie, etc. adding chicken sounds.

(Props—chickens, cages, blanket, shofar, mask, black coat, cane.)

*This is not a poem. The line breaks make it easier for old eyes to read at the Rant-a-thon and helps me remember when to pause, pause, pause.

BLOW SHOFAR LOUDLY (bringing in animal presence with the ram’s horn, to which Russell adds whistle and flute sounds.)

I attended a Council of All Beings on the land I share with other creatures.
Most didn’t want a human at the Council.
The critters complained about the damage humans do.
They want us off the Earth.

Chicken spoke up for me personally,
So they let me observe.
Chickens are my allies.
If you consider chickens as your allies,
Let us know by sounds or movements of solidarity.

The Council assigned me the task of translating into your arrogant human talk.
I was given these notes—so I might get the Council’s
Collective thinking correct.

The flock where I live likes music,
And refer to themselves as the Dixie Chicks.
This is Lacey, a little nervous among so many humans
And 2 bantams new to the flock.

The critters call me Horned Chicken Man—Or Horney for short.
The horns help me protect animals and plants from predators—
mainly humans,
Who prey on them, eat them, destroy their habitat.
Gopher and badger were at the Council,
Digging holes to get away from you.

Cougar kept her distance.
Many insects—buzzing, crawling, creeping.

Berries were vocal.
They want more water.
You take too much water.
You pollute it for the rest of us.

Apple said she wants water also—
No more of your dry farming.

Quail bobbed around,
Lichen and fungus listened.
Oak was sturdy
Redwood kept dancing with wind.

Chicken was elected to represent the Council as Power Animal.
So I offer you a chicken perspective on humans.
Chicken Wisdom you might call it.
The Council sent chickens to observe

This Human Council
The Council of All Beings was real democracy—
Not American democracy.
One creature—one vote,
Regardless of color, size, age, or whatever.
No Diebold machines…No millionaires…No movie stars.

You think that chickens have a pecking order.
Check out the human pecking order—
By gender, class, race, nationality.

At least chickens have real cocks,
Not like that imitation cock that Americans have as president.

He’s a bully.
Chicken hawks they call the Neo-Cons.
Don’t take our good name in vain. (wave cane)

Remember that classic question.
“Which came first—the chicken or… the human?”
Chickens were here before you arrived.
They are our ancestors.
Chickens will be here long after humans destroy ourselves,
Unless we blow everything up.
Chickens and their allies
Are ready to come home to roost,
So move aside,
Unless you can behave yourselves,
Which we doubt.
So fly your Earthly coup in some space ship
And leave the planet to the chickens and other creatures.

Avian Flu…and other little creatures,
viruses like AIDS--were honored guests at the Council.

Perhaps they can clean the place
Of you foul creatures without damaging all of us.

You spoil your nest,
Which is also our nest,
And then talk down to us.
You smug environmentalists,
Climate change activists, Peak Oilers, liberals, and radicals--
You’re all part of the problem.
You think you are so good—with your Priuses.
Give us a break.
Piss on your phallic Prius hybirds
And those silly bio-diesel fuels.
Give me a low-bird any day.

WHEN THEY TRY TO GET ME OFF

Our 3 human minutes are up.
No, your time is up.
We’re not gonna willingly get off this soap box.
We’ve got a few more things to say to you humans.
You seldom listen.

(Use cane to fight off bouncers.)

I want to get to the sex part,where we talk about real cocks.
Can you give me another minute?

You think you’re so smart.
Zeno, for example—with his European pedigree and degree in logic.
He doesn’t even like Caribbean music.
What does he know about worms—that’s what’s important.
Chicken Little was right--the sky is falling.
Cowardly state terrorists drop bombs from the skies
On innocent brown-skinned civilians in Afghanistan, Iraq & Lebaonon,
Including deliberately targeting UN peacekeepers & Red Cross vehicles.

Chicken asked me to add a personal note about sex—
“What do humans know about sex?” she said.
“Big Red mounts me all day—what a cock.
Every time I shake, it’s a multiple orgasm.”

“Meanwhile, your cocky president
Struts about destroying the world.
And millions of you voted for that rooster.
How smart was that?”

The hens all agree that humans need more sex
And less shopping.
Make love, consume less.

Humans aren’t even good ranters,
Myself included.
Chickens, on the other hand….

Come on, let’s hear your inner chickens rant.
Let it out.

OK, Lacey and you little bantam friends,radiate your love and aloha.
Chickens are love birds,
We need their Prey Wisdom.
Act like a flock,
Not only like individual humans,
And maybe we will make it.

Or as the great ecologist Aldo Leopold writes,
“Think like a… Chicken.”

Alooooha.

-Shepherd

The Rant-thon Theme Song: "You Need to Rant"

Special thanks to Larry H. and Kimberly B. for this excellent song which led off the Rant-a-thon on July 28th:

You Need to Rant

(Intro: Harmonica)

Are you an avid Eco-Activist?
Or are you an old closet Socialist?

If so, you need to Rant, Rant
And don't tell me you can't.

Do you have pent up hostility?
Or deep feelings of futility?

If so, you need to Rant, Rant
And don't tell me you can't.

Do you have political frustrations?
Or have no more Bush regime patience?

If so, you need to Rant, Rant
And don't tell me you can't.

It's a healthy thing to get it all out
It will make a difference without a doubt

If so, you need to Rant, Rant
Don't tell me you can't.
So just Rant, Rant
And don't tell me you caaaaan't.

Sandlerbrau's Rant

The following rant was delivered, in part, at the 1st ever Rant-a-thon on July 28th, 2006 (rules for ranters are here).

Sandlerbrau’s rant:

Shouts out to Lewis Black, Jon Stewart, Gonzo from the Muppets, Randi Rhodes from Air America, Lynn H.- who has ranted at me for 365 days times 4 and half years- and to the poor young interns I’ve ranted at, who came in to my office peaceful and happy and left with a burning righteous anger, ready to form non-profits, run for office, and deliver public comment with their middle finger and a fax machine. Here we go…

Topics:

Rumsfeld’s sexual dysfunction
- could have taken Viagra instead of invading Iraq. Sex got us through the 90s with Bob Dole and Clinton. Thats the main difference between this decade and last. Ironically, they didn’t have Viagra last decade…hmmm…
- Hummers mirror American foreign policy -
- simplistic American culture= broadcasting insecurity
- invading Iraq was Rumsfeld’s version of Tom Cruise bouncing on the couch

$500 billion military budget
- This pisses me off
- Imagine what we could do with $50 billion for any of our causes
- The largest single entity in our country is the Defense department, bigger than any company, and university, and organization
- ½ of the total Federal budget, the other main parts are entitlements and they are being whittled away by Repubs, but why isn’t anyone whittling away at the Rumsfeld budget? The only fuckin consensus item in this country is that killing people overseas is a high priority. Guns, Germs, and Steel.
- I don’t want to whittle the $500 billion, I want to dismantle it, because I have plans for that money and it doesn’t involve guns and bombs.
- Imagine what we could do at the local level with $500 billion.

Cheney was behind the Anthrax mailing
- he had the motive
- who was it sent to- Daschle and Leahy and the liberal media
- why haven’t we found the perpetrator?
- It was a cover up
- Why doesn’t anyone remember it and ask the question?
- The movies 'V for Vendetta' and 'Resident Evil' both proved that Cheney did it. Natalie Portman and Milla Jovovich are the key witnesses. I’d like to head up that investigation. I'd subpoena them (sp?).

Weakness in the Democratic party
- don’t take it out on the Greens- our job is to show the Dems their weaknesses. We’re like the scale when you’re on a diet, or like a mirror- this should be a call to action, not denial
- why do Dems hate Greens more than Republicans hate greens? It’s like you’re taking out your aggression on the messenger, but what you need to do is ask the messenger to help you get into the boss’s house and free the slaves.
- Can the Greens and Dems figure out a way to cooperate? I mean, I like Lynn Woolsey and in early 2004 I liked Howard Dean.
- But I hate Dianne Feinstein. We must take her out, no doubt.
- We need to focus on changing the system not keeping each other down. Is that ranty, or just preachy?

Why do Dems hate Greens so much?
- shouldn’t they hate Repubs more? Repubs have actual power, and are doing bad things. Greens have no power (except in Seb) and if they did, they would be using it to advance a progressive agenda.
- Nader is not the devil- Dick Cheney is.
- Doesn’t a progressive agenda mean being inclusive and liking diversity? Apparently not in electoral issues.
- 3rd parties are accepted in Latin America and Europe
- Instant Runoff voting and proportional representation needs to be a priority. Whether ballots are rigged by Choicepoint, if I have to write in my candidate and my candidate is not allowed into the debates, then I’ve been excluded from the process even before the vote is rigged.
- Now for the kicker, where I reach out to the Dems for solidarity: My real goal is to make the Repubs a 3rd party, and have the Greens and Dems the oppressive 2 parties in a 2 party system. (This sort of happened when the Green candidate for CA Superintendent of Schools Sarah Knopp received more votes than the Repub candidate- just recently on June 2, 2006)

The media- see 'America: the Book' page 131

Homeland security- aka butt raping
- Instead of airplane security anal probing me, why don’t we have health care workers who give out literature about heart disease, the #1 killer in America, even ahead of Osama bin Laden. Heart disease is the real killer. Look at the numbers. We need to put a turban and a beard on heart disease.
- 3,000 people. That’s a small number. It was sad, even ask Oliver Stone. I cried, no doubt. But guess what? More people just died in the past few minutes of malnutrition and lack of sanitation and clean water in the 3rd world. Millions of species are dying from climate change. That is even sadder, but way less is being done, and the nation is not being mobilized to do anything about it. Except go shopping and buy more stuff produced in sweatshops.
- National priorities- oops, an oxymoron.

And final shouts out- to Ann H. for being the Samuel Alito of the Rant-a thon; I think Sam P. was the Scalia- writing the majority opinion every time. You’re welcome, it’s a compliment, no it isn’t, I hate Samuel Alito, let me tell you why in the next 3 minutes, what, my time is up? I’m just getting started. OK, more shouts out. My 6th grade teacher who made us watch the movie Ghandi, which showed me how to do civil disobedience like continuing to rant even though my time is up...and...mmmpph...

At this point, Sandlerbrau was forcibly removed from the stage.

A Rant-a-thon Preview

Coming soon to this Blog...
The Rant a thon!

A grouchy festival of political frustration.
What has been bugging you for the last 4-8 years? OK, tell us in 3 minutes or less.

We'll be hosting a rant-a-thon on Friday July 28th, so to boost the anticipation, here are the Rules for the Rant a thon (sounds like a Saul Alinsky book- Rules for Ranters?)
Participants compete for prizes by giving a 3 minute rant on the state of the world, and why things are messed up.
Participants will be judged by an impartial panel based on the following criteria:
- Passion (Swearing? Yelling?)
- Content (current affairs preferred over the fight between Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, though lost points here could be made up in nonlinearity and creative blaming)
- Humor (take it seriously, but give it some zing- i.e. Chihuahuas versus Hummers)
- Ridiculous metaphors (i.e. Bush’s foreign policy is _____)
- Esoteric References (naming the specific guard you hate at Abu Ghraib is better than just mentioning Abu Ghraib)
- Relevance (Botswana’s export tariffs are upsetting, but remember to bring it back to the main point)
- Creative blaming (Dubya is indeed responsible for Hurricane Katrina, but little did you know that Jenna Bush is even more at fault)
- Nonlinearity (ex: how is the wine factory proposed on Gold Ridge Road related to Rupert Murdoch’s consolidation of the media)
- Satire/ Parody (ex: facial expressions and impressions of the usual evil suspects)
- Gestures (Scalia-type performance art, foam middle fingers welcome)
- Density (how much of the above can you pack into 3 minutes?)

Tips: Remember to alternate between bile, venom, and humor. Like a fine souffle, a quality rant needs just the right amount of ingredients to turn out right. The difference between bile and venom is subtle, but can be discerned during public comment at your local City Council meeting. It is also an art to be able to rant like Greg Palast without falling into regrettable Jenkel-ism. If you are going to have a written, prepared rant, it will be posted here in a special Rant-a-thon section on the RumsfeldInvaders blog. Stay tuned.

Ranting- coming to a blog near you. Yes, Rumsfeld Invaders, always innovating. We should patent the Blog Rant. We'll make millions. No one has ever ranted on a Blog before. Genius!

New American Century already over in just 6 years

I read today that the Project for a New American Century is closing up shop.
Wolfowitz, Rumsfeld, and many of the characters portrayed in the Rumsfeld Invaders video game shared letterhead back when they were powerless critics of Clinton's humanitarian focused foreign policy in the late 90's. Now that they have taken power and shot their load (of bombs...what?) in Iraq, and the neo-cons' power is on the decline, the Project for a New American Centuryis coming to an end. Apparently the staff wonk guys went upstairs to the American Enterprise Institute, where they will scheming otherways to initiate the downfalls of civilizations as described in Jared Diamond's Collapse.
I guess the rest of the Century belongs to Europe, China, and India.

Cut and Run, or Blood and Spin?

The Repubs are framing the debate on Iraq as either "cut and run" or "stay the course."
The Dems, like deer in headlights, are paralyzed, and are losing the public relations war.

Here's my advice for framing, you helpless Dems:
Bush's strategy is "Blood and spin."
Your strategy should be "Bring the troops home safely."
Your strategy invokes the hearth and love and nurturance of the family- moral politics.
Bush's strategy (or lack thereof) is to try to downplay the bloody war by spinning the media.
You need to point that out. The spin also refers to the cover-ups as the reasons for war kept changing. Eventually "blood and spin" can be changed to "indictment and imprisonment" as these guys start getting thrown in jail for Scooter Libbying, Tom Delaying, and Abramoffing with the Constitution in pursuing this illegal war.

Free Rein=Fixing, Mobilization, Redirection, Overriding, and Orchestration

Here are some words from a peak oil dude, Richard Heinberg.
I'm posting it because I thought it was RumsfeldInvader-rrific (how ya like that adjective?), especially the stuff they were allowed to do in the free rein (reign?), whoa.

"The current administration came into office to...achieve and maintain virtually complete global hegemony and...unchallenged control of the world’s oil and gas flows. Tactics reserved to that endincluded pre-emptive war and “regime change” anywhere necessary. The U.S.corporate/banking/military elite gave the neocon-dominated executive group virtually free rein to pursue these goals. Given that group’s lack of a robust popular constituency, this entailed the fixing of elections, the mobilization of the media, the redirection of immense amounts of government revenue, the overriding of the Constitution as well as international laws and treaties, and the orchestration of a spectacular terrorist attack. The Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld crew had its chance and, by near-universal opinion, achieved colossal failure on all counts. This failure was in fact predicted by many­ including the millions who marched in streets to try to avert the Iraq invasion. But the current tragicomedy of the neocons’ fall from grace can offer little satisfaction to anyone, in that it implies extraordinary perils to both the nation and the world."

That part is a bummer, but wait, Heinberg didn't leave us hangin. Here's the silver lining:

"Over the past few months the consensus of the traditional power elites has shifted dramatically: they have evidently (judging by their statements and by the attitude of the mainstream media) concluded that the neocon cabal must go. Washington prosecutors, backed by the establishment’s old-guard foreign policy “realists” inside and outside of government, are preparing revelations of scandals and the handing down of still more indictments."

OK, any day now. Feel free to scandalize away. You got Scooter and DeLay. But that Rummy dude has a thick skin. And Cheney, well, he shoots his friends in the face on a daily basis. You're gonna need the scandal of the century, like maybe one of the things he did during the free rein that you mentioned above. And some gutsy Congresspeople to push it, and a media more gutsy than the one Stephen Colbert skewered, oh, and 5 votes on the Supreme Court would be nice too. And while we're at it, I'll take an extra scoop of mint chip. Mmmm..

Homeland Paranoia/Anal Probing

Starting now, I officially declare that the Department of Homeland Security be referred to as:

Homeland Paranoia/Anal Probing

You may now return to your regularly scheduled blogging.

Deep Iran Penetrator- Use Viagra instead, Rummy

Rumsfeld, I know I dissed you. I know that it hurt your feelings. Now I want to ask you a favor. Do not use pre-emptive nuclear weapons on Iran. Is it good manners for me to diss you, and then ask for a favor? No. But you're no Miss Manners, Rummy. You like invading countries for fun, and incidentally to make up for unfortunately miniscule genitalia (oops, there I go again).

Anyway, here's a fun little story, cut and pasted from here:

Rumsfeld, and former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Gen. Richard B. Myers, at a Pentagon press briefing on May 20 2003, a few weeks after the Iraq invasion. The reporter asked Myers why the administration was requesting a bill that prohibited the study, or development, of nuclear weapons exclude study of certain nuclear weapons. At first Myers said he could not address the issue. The reporter then addressed the question to Rumsfeld. "I'm referring to removing the Spratt ban on development of 5-kiloton or less nuclear weapons for use on the battlefield," clarified the reporter.

"The only thing we've done that I know of is that we have proposed that the absolute ban on the study of a deep-earth penetrator has been removed from the bill at our insistance, because we do intend to study a variety of types of deep earth penetrators, for very good reason," responded Rumsfeld.

"Sir, I'm sorry to interrupt," said the reporter. "But again, I'm very puzzled, because I've only covered the Pentagon a few months, and I know you are a detailed man, sir. And the fact is that the Senate Armed Service Committee and the House, there are two separate provisions. One is for the continued spending of $15.5 million a year to pursue the robust penetrator, you know, with a possible nuclear payload. The second is to..."

Rumsfeld interrupted, "To pursue?. I think it's to study."

"To study, to study," said the reporter."It's not to develop," said Rumsfeld. "It's not to deploy. It's not to use. It's to study.""To study the penetrator," responded the reporter. "But what I'm referring to, sir, is the vote in the Senate committee and the legislation that would remove the current ban, the so-called, the Spratt ban, after Congressman Spratt, that would restrict the testing and development of, study of weapons, nuclear weapons..."

"Testing and development of study," interrupted Rumsfeld again. "What does that mean?"

"Sir, the study and possible development of weapons of 5 kiloton or less for use on the battlefield, not a bunker buster, sir, but a tactical battlefield weapon. That," responded the reporter.

"I think you're leaping to a conclusion as to what a study would produce," interjected Rumsfeld again. "I am aware of that."

"And the proposal that we've made is precisely what I said. It is to permit the study of less than 5-kiloton weapons. That is a fact," added Rumsfeld."Okay," said the reporter. "What would that kind of weapon possibly in the arsenal be used for?"

"We don't know," said Rumsfeld. "That's why we want to study it. And we're kind of inclined to think that the idea that we should not be allowed to study such a weapon is not a good idea. We think it, for one thing, I, and then I'll ask Dick (note that there are plenty of Dicks that Rumsfeld could ask: Cheney, or the Dick standing next to Rumsfeld) to comment on the possible use against, for example, chemical or biological storage areas, where a conventional weapon could have a disastrous effect and a low-yield nuclear weapon conceivably could have an effect that would be, that would mitigate some of the problems with a conventional weapon. But the, it's important to appreciate that to the extent the United States is prohibited from studying the use of such weapons, for example, for a deep earth penetrator, the effect in the world is that it tells the world that they're wise to invest in going underground. And that's not a good thing, from our standpoint." At this point Rumsfeld looked to Myers and asked if he wanted to comment on it. "You bet," responded Myers, notwithstanding his earlier reluctance. "Let me just add to that that, as the secretary said, study is needed here because, for a couple of things. The threat, in many cases, is going deep underground. I'm not going to just focus on the penetrator, but that's where the threat's going. The threat is also going to chemical, biological and, ....weapons, and we know that. There's a greater and greater proliferation. And so we've got to study the effects of how you might deal with these weapons." "Conventional weapons, as the secretary said, if you had chemical munitions or biological munitions and you wanted to destroy them, in some cases do nothing more than just spread the biological or the chemical weapons, creating a larger hazard than you'd have when it would be contained. Nuclear weapons have some, can have some effect on those," Myers continued."So this is exactly what the secretary said. It's a study. It seems like a very prudent thing to do. It has nothing to do with the development or the fielding or even the employment of these types of weapons. But the study seems like a prudent thing to do."

"I don't want to prolong this," said Rumsfeld, "but it is terribly important that people not hype this and create misimpressions in the public about it by misusing words or being imprecise in the use of words, and saying things like "pursue," which you did. We should be very precise as a to what it is. It is a study. It is nothing more and nothing less. And it is not pursuing, and it is not developing, it is not building, it is not manufacturing, it is not deploying, and it is not using," said Rumsfeld.

"Well," responded the reporter, "why study something if you're not at least considering some..."

"My goodness gracious," interrupted Rumsfeld. "I can't believe you would say that, Jamie. You study things to learn."

"But it seems a bit disingenuous to say this is only a study," said the reporter.

"That's exactly what it is," interrupted Rumsfeld.

"and it's not leading to anything else," continued the reporter.

"It may or may not," said Rumsfeld. "People study things all the time that don't lead to things."

"But when you study something," said the reporter, "the implication is that you're interested in it and you'd like to see what the potential is."

"That's true," conceded Rumsfeld. "And we're doing that for a variety of things, for deep earth penetrator.""But why else would you have a study," continued the reporter, "except to possibly give you information that would lead you to make decisions that possibly might, and you just outlined some reasons why nuclear weapons..."

"You, I'll answer your question," Rumsfeld interjected again. "You make a study for a very simple reason, to learn whether you do believe that that is a need, something that's needed, something that would be useful. And we're going to look at a variety of different ways, conceivably, to develop the ability to reach a deeply buried target. That's what you do things, you study things, that's what you do in the pharmaceutical business. That's what you do in defense business. That's what you do in all, and many of the things you study you never pursue."

Almost three years after that exchange the use of such weapons in an attack on Iran is reportedly creating serious misgivings inside the offices of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, with some officers talking about resigning. Late this winter, the Joint Chiefs of Staff sought to remove the nuclear option from the evolving war plans for Iran, without success, a former intelligence official told Hersh. A Pentagon adviser on the war on terror confirmed there was a resurgence of interest in tactical nuclear weapons among Pentagon civilians and in policy circles. He called it "a juggernaut that has to be stopped." He too confirmed some senior officers and officials were considering resigning over the issue. "There are very strong sentiments within the military against brandishing nuclear weapons against other countries," the adviser told Hersh.

Back to Sandlerbrau's commentary: Note the use of the words "Deep Earth Penetrator." Note that these are the same men, named Dick, who enjoy drilling the pristine Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. (The Earth is female: Gaia). Note that Iran and Iraq are the cradles of civilization, the fertile crescent. These men named Dick cannot get an erection, yet there is the fertile crescent beckoning (a female genital reference if ever there was one). The Persian Gulf is longing for their manly appendage, to be delivered with megatons. Rumsfeld is very cerebral, but even though the neocons think of themselves as hyper cerebral "Vulcans," their subconscious and their libido is behind their actions. That is why this anti-war movement needs a female to lead it. Cindy Sheehan or Lynn Woolsey. It cannot be led by Howard Dean or Heath Ledger.
Even the Joint Chiefs are powerless. I hope the media can prevent something bad happening in Iran. No help from the so-called leadership, Rumsfeld is insane. (unless you're not, Rummy. Go ahead and prove me wrong)

Now it's personal, Rummy

OK Rummy. It's goin down.

This is what happens when I drink some beer, put on some Dr. Dre, and log on to the Blog.

Beeeotch!!!

In that other Blog I mentioned that Rummy has squinty eyes.

What I forgot to mention is that he has small nutz. "Yeah, Rummy, yo nutz is small." Whassup.

You got the wire tap, but yo wire is tapped. Mrs. Rumsfeld has been left out in the cold for a long long time. Your bureaucratic ass hasn't satisfied a woman in decades.

But that's not Iraq's fault. Don't take it out on the entire nation of Islam. No need to tie up Arab dudes and torture them. Especially when its not consensual. Leave that to the Castro District and Chelsea.

If you can't invade your wife, you don't need to invade smaller countries to prove your manliness in this very destructive way. Bob Dole did it in a less invasive, less violent way. Plus that solution helps pharmaceutical profits. You were once a pharmaceutical type of guy. You knew what was going down in "The Constant Gardener." You didn't need to press rewind to hear the whispered conspiratorial secrets. You knew them already. Same with Syriana. You could fast forward through most of it, since it was boring to watch for you. Yawn...this is so 2003.

Hey, give Clooney some credit, he busted out "Good Night and Good Luck" which was old skool 1950's. Which, Rummy, you're down with. The 50's were your glory days. You are a man of the mid 20th century. The dawn of the Cold War. Those were your formative years. You were young and ambitious. You didn't really like Vietnam, and you liked even less the aftermath (which Dre is down with). The legacy of Vietnam was your enemy. And you are still fighting it. Wit small nutz.

See, that's the main problem. If your nutz were OK, you wouldn't have to compensate. But, like a Hummer driver, you're worried. Are your nutz OK? I don't know, better invade a few countries, just to make sure no one says anything.

It's OK Rummy. Most of America is in the same situation. They are worried about their tan lines and eyebrows, and har gel and shirts with cuffs. And most of all, the size of their nutz.

Why were the Native Americans massacred? Because the settlers were insecure about the size of their nutz. Why did the Southern Whitey have slaves? Because he was afraid that the black man had larger nutz. Why did Nelson Mandela serve 30 years as a political prisoner? White man's nutz insecurity. They don't teach you that shit in history class. They say "Manifest Destiny," which is actually "Manifest Density" meaning frontal lobe, but not the subconscious. Ego but not Id.

I'm manifesting a middle finger for Rummy. This is a shout out to my homies to back me up, since Rummy is wiretapping this shit, and he has interns and employees monitoring this thought even before it even gets blogged. Those interns are paid by the Gitmo prisoner illegally abducted. They get quarterly bonuses for depriving environmentalists and Blue State residents of their 1st Amendment rights. An extra $1,000 into their 401(k) whenever they smart bomb target a Clooney in a white SUV trying to prevent a Middle East coup for oil as portrayed at the end of Syriana.

Rummy, you're going down. The Blog is on, and it's all about taking you down. You might have a $500 billion dollar budget of which a significant portion is dedicated to keep upstart smart young Blogger MC's from getting on the mic and rollin out disses like Dre Day, what what, but I got the 1st Amendment, and even if Skull-lito wouldn't know it if it hit his pasty white pro-death skull upside the head, I'm bringin it. Two shouts out to the young Republican who is assigned to read this Blog and "track" this information. See you at the Hummer Protest beeotch. I'll be the one with the 2 foot middle finger. You'll be the one with the small nutz. You'll be hard to pick out among the Hummer shoppers.

Rummy, these disses probably hurt. I want the hurt to stop too. Here's a way to make it go away. Change your ways. Read Jared Diamond's "Collapse." Burn the Crichton book. You can buy me off. One or two hundred billion toward the renewable energy/climate protection/social justice project of my choice. None of this hundred million stuff. I want a hundred billion. Minimum.

You might think I'm soft on national security. Not all, homie. You are stuck in some kind of Dr. Strangelove house of mirrors. I'm trying to help you out here. Give me a hundred billion, and I'll help you do your information awareness or whatever you call the propoganda you're spewing. White Man's burden or whatever. I'll help you improve your image...the same way Jimmy Carter improved the image of the US in the Middle East. Foo! That's how it's done. Jimmy was down from the olden days. Your style is outdated. Jimmy is where it's at.

Rummy, you best resign now, this Blog is on fire, and you have no chance. Give up now before it gets ugly. Beeotch!

Bloggin 101

We be bloggin. Here's how you do it.

Go to Copperfield's Books (or Borders or whatever if you don't have a local bookstore left because of Walmartification) (uh oh, it's gonna be one of those blogs with all the parentheses).

Casually flip through the books in the new nonfiction hardcover section about climate change.

Let the facts slowly permeate. Loss of biodiversity. Changing the climate for potentially millions of years. Who are we to do that? My life is 100 years. Why should I permanently alter the whole Earth's climate for millions of years so that I can live a materialistic life which involves driving hundreds of miles, thousands of miles, 20,000 miles a year for what? Why should every ecosystem on the planet and every frog and coral reef die for that?

Then go home. Idly flip channels, ending inevitably on MTV, a residual from the teenage years when Def Leppard's Pour Some Sugar on Me" alternated with Guns n Roses' "Paradise City." Alas, nowadays, it only shows reality TV starring people who are most concerned with their eyebrows and tan lines, hair gel and shirts with cuffs. Do they care about the Earth? Hah! To even ask the question. I suggest a new show: "Environmental Intervention." or "Extreme Environmental Makeover." Episode 1: This is the Earth. You live on it. You are a member of the species that is fucking it up. You have the ability to stop the damage before it is too late. If you do nothing it might be too late within your lifetime. Most troublingly, this could negatively impact your eyebrows and tan lines, hair gel and shirts with cuffs.

Next step, very important: drink some wine, and start rifling through the fridge looking for some beer. Then sit down and continue bloggin while Eminem's "Mosh" plays in the background.

I mean, I like this Blog, but this Blog is not worth every coral reef in the world.
But this Blog is not the problem. The energy infrastructure that underlies this Blog is the problem. I want a Blog, but I don't want tons of CO2. The CO2 is an unwanted byproduct. Return to Sender.

Still, the use of this Blog is part of the problem. If we could do demand reduction, that would reduce the CO2. On the other hand, if we could build a political constituency to move the bureaucracies that define the rules of the energy infrastructure, we could change how all Blogs are powered, and then we could remove the guilt associated with all forms of electronic communication, which substitutes for paper which saves trees.

Guilt or CO2? Which is my greater burden?

So about Rumsfeld (you were wondering when I would get to that). Every post on this Blog needs to have a mention of Rumsfeld. Even if you have to make something up. Start rumors about Rumsfeld. I heard he's dating Lindsay Lohan. I don't care, but incorporate Rumsfeld into every post.

Here's how the greenhouse gas emissions of this Blog relates to Rumsfeld. Rumsfeld has the biggest budget in the world. Rumsfeld can do anything he wants to. With $500 billion, you could do anything. You could have a pretty fuckin cool sushi night with your friends for your birthday. You could fuckin well change the energy infrastructure of the fuckin country, and have money left over to completely renovate the decrepit American auto industry to make cars that get 100, hell, 200 miles per gallon (and for you interns out there, that's mpg, yo). Just for fun you could make rules saying that cars need to get 187 miles to the fuckin gallon, and that every gas station needs to put on their price listing the word "fuckin" next to the price per gallon. (by the way, I'm bloggin to Ice Cube's song "Steady mobbin" now, that's steady bloggin yo) Rumsfeld's got the budget to solve these problems. He could do an instant global Marshall Plan, and get Africa's attention, stop them genociding each other with some economic incentives, get each village in Congo a wireless PC powered by a solar panel, and put bicycle factories in every country, with water purifiers which attach to the back. I got a hundred ideas for Rumsfeld's budget. Instead Rumsfeld likes to invade and cause trouble. "There goes the neighborhood"

When people asked me would I like to be Administrator of the EPA, I said no, I want to be Secretary of Defense. Why? Cause with that money I could tear up some shit. The EPA's budget would buy me one week of toilet paper from Costco. Maybe that's part of the problem, but I would rather blame Rumsfeld. He's just so squinty eyed. Someone call up Al Franken, he needs to name a chapter "Rumsfeld- the squinty eyed liar." I shouldn't refer to Rumsfeld's physical attributes or lack thereof. But all y'allz other Bloggers have hardly given a shout out or a diss to Rummy, so I needed to step up, word.

I'm gonna post this shit, and continue on a new post. I'm not done with Rummy yet.

Long War, Shlong War

Someone had to say it. I'm sorry it had to be me.
In the Quadrennial Review, Rumsfeld began using the term "The Long War."
Because the War on Terror is unwinnable, and the Repubs in Congress are getting antsy going into their midterm elections. The Long War- what could be more Orwellian?

Another term which Rumsfeld Invaders recommends is "The Shlong War."
Bush, Dick, and Majority Leader Boehner (pronounced "boner") have assisted Rumsfeld in attempting to compensate for Rumsfeld's impotence by fighting macho wars. How many countries did Bob Dole invade? A pharmaceutical solution would have been less deadly.

Back in the 70's, Gerald Ford's incontinence led us to build dams on rivers all over the country.
Reagan had asthma, and that's why we used CFC's to destroy the ozone layer.
OK, I'm getting a bit abstract here.

New Blog, Old Blog

Prior to the recent creation of this Blog, there were occasional rantings at this website:

http://www.rumsfeldinvaders.com/rumsblog.htm

In case you're hesitating on checking it out, it begins: "Welcome to the RumsBlog, we got fun and games, we got everything you want, and we know the names."

This new Blog is still new, so it's unclear how many Guns and Roses References will make it into print. We appreciate your Patience. Yeah-ah.

A new Blog for Rumsfeld Invaders

Hey everyone!

Rumsfeld Invaders is entering the conventional Blogosphere. What do you think of that?

RI's Blogging topics are as follows:

-Rumsfeld
-Disgruntled politics (left leaning, and somewhat green)
-Corruption, deception, and evil-ness in the Federal Government (yes, that includes you Cheney!)
-Sustainable energy policy/climate protection/Priuses, etc.
-Political satire

Ask the moderator how you can join in.
Note: This Blog is for Friends of Rumsfeld Invaders, not Friends of Rumsfeld. (notice the subtle difference)