Long War, Shlong War

Someone had to say it. I'm sorry it had to be me.
In the Quadrennial Review, Rumsfeld began using the term "The Long War."
Because the War on Terror is unwinnable, and the Repubs in Congress are getting antsy going into their midterm elections. The Long War- what could be more Orwellian?

Another term which Rumsfeld Invaders recommends is "The Shlong War."
Bush, Dick, and Majority Leader Boehner (pronounced "boner") have assisted Rumsfeld in attempting to compensate for Rumsfeld's impotence by fighting macho wars. How many countries did Bob Dole invade? A pharmaceutical solution would have been less deadly.

Back in the 70's, Gerald Ford's incontinence led us to build dams on rivers all over the country.
Reagan had asthma, and that's why we used CFC's to destroy the ozone layer.
OK, I'm getting a bit abstract here.