What follows is pure speculation, so don't quote me on this. There are no unnamed sources for this article, Judith Miller did not talk to Scooter Libby, Curveball did not tell me this after being waterboarded, Rove did not out any CIA agents here, and David Letterman and his writers did not tell jokes about this. So without further ado, here is my random list of potential scandals that caused Palin to resign for no apparent reason:
She had an affair with: a. one of her staffers, b. McCain, c. Joe the Plumber, d. Eminem, as shown in his recent music video, e. all of the above
She had a threesome with John Ensign and Mark Sanford
She visited a $15,000 prostitute while in D.C.
His name was Newt Gingrich
She got pregnant
She got pregnant by Levi
She got an abortion (during the 2008 campaign)
She put Willow on birth control and feels bad about it and wants to spend more time at church asking for forgiveness
She is actually gay
There is something in Levi's forthcoming book that she is worried about
She got a job with Fox News
She got a job with Saturday Night Live
She will be on a reality TV show (MTV's The Real World?)
She got a job as a spokesperson for a turkey-killing factory
She is planning to pose for Playboy's Girls of the Radical Right Wing
She is planning to pose for Playboy's Anti-Choice Grandmas of the GOP (I'll probably skip that issue)
A girls gone wild video of her from 1983 has surfaced and she wanted to resign so she could make a deal to get a portion of the proceeds (Paris Hilton style)
She sold meth to Levi's mom
She bought meth from Levi's mom
She did meth with Levi's mom
Palin's car wash had "not filed its biennial report and/or paid its biennial fees"
She wants to go back to working at her car wash
Boring old using state troopers for personal family stuff, like changing diapers or babysitting for her
Boring old firing state troopers who got divorced from her sister, etc.
Boring old trying to get paid state funds for sleeping at home or taking family with her on trips
Boring old embezzlement of public funds (maybe while she was mayor of Wasilla regarding a Sports Center and contractors doing free work on her house)
More scandals here
(Note: this blog is covered by the 1st amendment (it's in the Constitution, Sarah, look it up), so no moaning or whining about defamation. If you want to sue someone, sue McCain. If he hadn't picked you, I wouldn't have known who you are.)
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