Angered Rumsfeld Dismisses General Cho, Demotes Colonel Sanders
From the upcoming issue of The Claremont St. Journal:
Angered Rumsfeld Dismisses General Cho, Demotes Colonel Sanders
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld dismissed General Cho Thursday, citing irreconcilable differences after the meal of bar-b-queued chicken disagreed with his digestive tract. The dismissal came less than a week after Colonel Sanders was demoted and placed on leave for similar sub-ordinance.
Rumsfeld, whose favorite meal is fried chicken, reacted negatively to the spicy Cajun chicken wings he ordered at the Monte Vista KFC franchise last week. A Secret Service personnel came to his rescue, handing the Secretary of Defense a Rolaids tablet.
A spokesman for Sanders, now a Lt. Colonel and on extended unpaid leave according to the State Department, vociferously denied the validity of the demotion.
“It’s ridiculous to assume that the founder and symbol of Kentucky Fried Chicken can be demoted. The title of Colonel is merely symbolic. In fact, to prove our point, we’re promoting him to Vice Admiral and Supreme Allied Fast Food Commander. Let’s see what the DOD has to say about that.”
Rumsfeld, who has ruffled feathers at the fast food joint since becoming a regular patron in 2000, brushed aside notions that he should take responsibility for his ordering the chicken.
Nevertheless, in a conciliatory gesture toward Rumsfeld, punitive action has been taken against the assistant manager and cooks, but so far higher ups have avoided bearing the brunt of the responsibility. Rumsfeld also has had other incidents with KFC in the past, including injuries sustained while slipping on a bathroom floor and a verbal confrontation with a drive through attendant.
Meanwhile, the Secretary of Defense vigorously denied a link between his disagreement with his meal at Happy Chinese Restaurant and the timely dismissal of General Cho.
Said Rumsfeld, “The meal and I may have had a disagreement, but that in no way influenced my decision to dismiss General Cho. Come on, people. You’ve got to make up better stories than that. General Cho was nearing retirement. He’s been making the same chicken dish for how long now, ten, twenty years?”
Happy Chinese Restaurant, in a statement given to the press, intends to continue to offer General Cho’s chicken as an entree to its consumers on its menu. ‘The Secretary of Defense can’t control what we cook. He can dismiss General Cho in his own mind, but we’re still cooking it.”
Meanwhile, a bill is being mailed to the Secretary of Defense, courtesy of Kentucky Fried Chicken, for the $2.75 he failed to pay.
Angered Rumsfeld Dismisses General Cho, Demotes Colonel Sanders
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld dismissed General Cho Thursday, citing irreconcilable differences after the meal of bar-b-queued chicken disagreed with his digestive tract. The dismissal came less than a week after Colonel Sanders was demoted and placed on leave for similar sub-ordinance.
Rumsfeld, whose favorite meal is fried chicken, reacted negatively to the spicy Cajun chicken wings he ordered at the Monte Vista KFC franchise last week. A Secret Service personnel came to his rescue, handing the Secretary of Defense a Rolaids tablet.
A spokesman for Sanders, now a Lt. Colonel and on extended unpaid leave according to the State Department, vociferously denied the validity of the demotion.
“It’s ridiculous to assume that the founder and symbol of Kentucky Fried Chicken can be demoted. The title of Colonel is merely symbolic. In fact, to prove our point, we’re promoting him to Vice Admiral and Supreme Allied Fast Food Commander. Let’s see what the DOD has to say about that.”
Rumsfeld, who has ruffled feathers at the fast food joint since becoming a regular patron in 2000, brushed aside notions that he should take responsibility for his ordering the chicken.
Nevertheless, in a conciliatory gesture toward Rumsfeld, punitive action has been taken against the assistant manager and cooks, but so far higher ups have avoided bearing the brunt of the responsibility. Rumsfeld also has had other incidents with KFC in the past, including injuries sustained while slipping on a bathroom floor and a verbal confrontation with a drive through attendant.
Meanwhile, the Secretary of Defense vigorously denied a link between his disagreement with his meal at Happy Chinese Restaurant and the timely dismissal of General Cho.
Said Rumsfeld, “The meal and I may have had a disagreement, but that in no way influenced my decision to dismiss General Cho. Come on, people. You’ve got to make up better stories than that. General Cho was nearing retirement. He’s been making the same chicken dish for how long now, ten, twenty years?”
Happy Chinese Restaurant, in a statement given to the press, intends to continue to offer General Cho’s chicken as an entree to its consumers on its menu. ‘The Secretary of Defense can’t control what we cook. He can dismiss General Cho in his own mind, but we’re still cooking it.”
Meanwhile, a bill is being mailed to the Secretary of Defense, courtesy of Kentucky Fried Chicken, for the $2.75 he failed to pay.
posted by T-Dog at 10:44 AM
2 Comments:
Interesting choice, because the same town of 8,000 people in Kentucky, where the Original Colonel Sanders made Fried Chicken, and later created a francise which is committing genocide on chickens, is now becoming ground zero for Homeland Security ID cards and illegal immigrant ID cards. It's because of a pork barrel (or chicken barrel) Congressman who who is sending big government contracts back home, the true purpose of Homeland Paranoia/Anal Probing. No bid contracts, campaign contributions, and one of the companies hired the Congressman's son.
From the New York Times:
In Kentucky Hills, a Homeland Security Bonanza
May 14, 2006, Sunday
By ERIC LIPTON (NYT);
DISPLAYING FIRST 50 OF 2279 WORDS -The Department of Homeland Security has invested tens of millions of dollars and countless hours of labor over the last four years on a seemingly simple task: creating a tamperproof identification card for airport, rail and maritime workers. Yet nearly two years past a planned deadline, production of the...
http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F30C15F63F5A0C778DDDAC0894DE404482
Well if General Cho and Colonel Sanders would just stop criticizing Rumsfeld's Iraq "strategery" maybe he'd feel differently.
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